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10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men: Understand His Mind And Capture His Heart, by Sabrina Alexis, Eric Charles
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10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men—written by the founders of the hugely popular women’s relationship website Anewmode.com—is an honest, non-sugarcoated guide to understanding men and cracking their code so you can finally have the love you’ve always wanted… instead of wasting time on dead-end relationships that leave you emotionally drained and broken-hearted.
For as far back as humanity goes, women have struggled to understand why men behave the way they do.
Does he like me? Why won’t he commit? Why doesn’t he text back? Does he mean what he says? Why is he withdrawing? How does he really feel? These are just a few examples of questions that women all over the world are desperate to know the answers to… and now they can, once and for all.
This book takes a look at the most common relationship scenarios—the ones that cause the most confusion—and explains everything. It provides a breakdown of the male psyche, as well as honest confessions from the authors and men who were brave enough to share their stories.
10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men will free you from all your doubts and confusion and give you the gift of clarity. You will never again feel the need to try to figure him out… instead you can bask in the joy of just understanding exactly why he does what he does.
- Sales Rank: #15803 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-11-16
- Released on: 2015-11-16
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Sabrina Alexis is a writer and the co-founder and editorial director of A New Mode. Sabrina graduated from Boston University in 2007 with degrees in English and Psychology and has been writing about fashion, beauty, relationships, and wellness ever since. Her work has appeared on numerous leading sites including Fox News, Glamour, Maxim, The Huffington Post, The Frisky, Your Tango, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, The Stir, You Beauty, and StyleList.
Eric Charles is a formerly Boston-based dating and relationship expert, now living in Miami Beach, FL. Eric has always been interested in the human mind and is passionate about helping people improve their lives on every level. After graduating from Boston University with a major in Psychology and Advertising, he began coaching men to help them improve their love-lives. Eric was a success in the field from the start which fueled his passion and confirmed that this was his calling.
About A New Mode (anewmode.com)
A New Mode is a premier women's lifestyle site founded by Sabrina Alexis and Eric Charles in 2009 with a focus on relationships and understanding men. The content is a blend of relatable real life dating stories and deep explanations into the heart and mind of a man. Eric and Sabrina both majored in Psychology at Boston University and have used their deep understanding of human nature and relationship dynamics to create a website that attracts millions of visitors annually.
In addition to the website, Sabrina and Eric have created a series of e-books and audio courses and created an extremely popular newsletter in which they go into greater depth on men and relationships and share their own personal experiences, including mistakes made and lessons learned. A New Mode is more than a content site, it is a community where members can get the answers and support they need to be their best selves and have the relationship they have always wanted.
Most helpful customer reviews
203 of 223 people found the following review helpful.
I need to say that there are some good things in this book and some people can benefit ...
By Amazon Customer
*Edit - I am a bit slow to do it, but I would like to say that I received good correspondence from the author and I was impressed with her responses. She is really trying to help us and research the best way to do it. So I am changing my review to 3 stars because while my criticism of the book is still valid, I feel like I was unfair about its strong points.So a more fair rating would be 3 stars.
First of all, I need to say that there are some good things in this book and some people can benefit from reading it. Also, Sabrina looks like a really nice girl who has been through a lot of pain and I'm sure she is genuinely trying to help. I'm sure Eric is trying the same, too.
With that said, I have to say that the advice in this book is not only not helpful, it can be dangerous at times. It's not that the authors are bad people. But before you start following what this book preaches, keep this in mind - Eric Charles is a big fan of Eckhart Tolle and a lot of his work is influenced by him. Living in the moment, labels don't matter, you need to enjoy the relationship as it unfolds... If you are a die-hard fan of Tolle, then nothing I say will change your mind and you will love the advice in this book. But if you happen to think differently and are open to the possibility that Tolle's New Age movement is more like a cult, then pay attention.
This book is full of excuses for men. Now of course, men are not the enemy, but some men are definitely to be avoided. The book is quite dis-empowering to women - it can turn you into a coy girl waiting for the guy to commit instead of pursuing your own agenda in relationships. I know because that is what reading all their articles turned me into. Of course, I'm just one case, so maybe it will be a different experience for you. But what the book prescribes is not based on any data or research, but on opinion - opinion influenced by Eckhart Tolle's teachings. The most dangerous idea in this book is the idea that the real reason men cheat is because they don't feel like winners. I can understand why Sabrina believes that - Eric cheated on her and he rationalized it this way. Now he wrote a book together with her and of course that he doesn't think that men cheat because they are as*holes - that would mean calling himself an as*hole. Also, it feels good for us women to have a feeling of control - as long as I make him feel like a winner, he will not cheat. However, research shows that the main reason men cheat is because they can. They don't need to have anything missing in the relationship in order to cheat. Do some men cheat because they are unappreciated? Sure. Is this the main reason men cheat? Science says no. People cheat because of their own bad character, especially if it happens more than once. Men's narcissism is a great predictor of cheating and narcissists surely feel like winners!
Another dangerous idea - men are not trying to hurt you. While it's true that most people are not trying to hurt you, some definitely are. And then there are some others who are not trying to hurt you but see you as nothing but an object to use and dispose of. And then there are those who do see you as a human being but will throw you under the bus if it suits them. Some people just can't be trusted and shouldn't be trusted, especially if you are giving them your body. The book doesn't warn you about such guys (and girls, of course). They can hurt you so much that you have no idea what hit you. And no, they are not necessarily sociopaths, there are many untrustworthy people who are not sociopaths but they are still not to be trusted. And you are more likely to meet such men because they are more attractive and more promiscuous. If a girl reads this book, and then goes and meets a good guy, this will not be that big of a problem. But if she happens to meet an untrustworthy guy (and she is likely to, because such guys try to hook up with as many women as possible, giving all men a bad name), then her trying to be understanding with him will backfire spectacularly. But this book makes it seem like it's all her fault for not giving him enough freedom. This may not be the intention of the authors but this is the message that comes across. If you are dealing with an as*hole who's breaking your heart, someone cheating on you, lying to you, playing with you, using you, a much better resource is "Character Disturbance: the phenomenon of our age" by Dr. George Simon. It is also a good resource if you want to avoid getting hurt by getting involved with the wrong people in any type of relationship. Contrary to what you might think after reading Sabrina's book, a guy not wanting to commit is not your biggest worry.
The way they talk about sex in this book is also dangerous. The book makes it seem like there is something wrong with a woman feeling attached after having sex. The solution they offer? Don't get attached. Eric even describes one incident when he lost interest after having sex with a woman because she became too clingy. Well, good rationalization, but what about the Coolidge effect? Maybe that's a more plausible explanation. And wouldn't a better course of action for this poor girl have been something like "Don't have sex with him before he commits". This would have prevented him from losing interest in her. But why would Eric recommend such an approach? He wouldn't. He likes his uncommitted sex. He doesn't know how much it hurts for a woman. So more rationalizations and zero science and facts. A much better advice is instead of trying to be unattached after sex (which only comes naturally to some women), just don't have sex before the guy is head over heels in love with you and has committed to you. But that would not fit well with Eckhart Tolle's philosophy about living in the moment.
The book also says that there is a way to communicate your worries to a man without nagging him... But never tells you what these ways are. So you are left wondering and feeling like you just didn't "get" it when in fact it was never explained. It gives no practical solutions, just some feel-good vague explanations. I don't see how this can change anything. If you are having a problem with guys not committing, I strongly recommend "Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy: Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships" by Dr. Jill P. Weber (you can check out her blog, too). And if you are just looking for a relationship, a great read could be "Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do" by Dr. Duana Welch - a very practical book based on scientific research.
Another problem with this book - it's true that men want appreciation and freedom, but... every single human does. These are basic psychological needs. And everyone who has studied persuasion knows that the best way to make someone comply with your agenda is to reinforce their freedom. This is not anything specific to men. And it doesn't mean you don't pursue your own agenda or influence men in other ways. It's just that forcing them is not an effective method to get what you want. And yes, you need to satisfy the basic emotional needs of your partner, but it's important to also make sure that he satisfies yours. This book keeps on telling women to ignore their own needs for connection and security and to be happy without satisfying them. This is just not possible.
If you are in a relationship and want to make it better, or just want to make all your relationships better, then I strongly recommend "Feeling good together" by Dr. David Burns. It is an amazing book that gives you practical advice on how to communicate and has helped me stop fighting with my boyfriend and solve other conflicts with other people. And it is based on solid evidence from scientific research. I hope this helps someone.
21 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
If I knew these 10 things when I was younger, I would not have been divorced.
By Amazon Customer
After I got divorced, I vowed to myself that I would not get married again before I dont understand the mind of a man, or the stuff men are made of. For the past nine years, I have devoured every book on relationships, am following relationship gurus such as David Wygant, ANM and a few others. As time past, I have realised and understood and began to practice the things Sabrina is talking about in this book, such as appreciating a man for who he is, and not what he can give you, for just enjoying the time spent with a man, without expections of a fairy tale love, as lets face it, we are after all living in the real world! And I have seen how men adores you, spoil you, make you feel like a princess, is eager to please and prefer to be in your company and never, never let me hang, in fact, they keep on coming back, just because I show respect and gets him being a man, and appreciating his male energy. I can assure you, Sabrina`s advice is the real thing, and if only we were brought up with this understanding, instead of the Hollywood love stories, there would be less drama in relationships. Im happy that finally, one person manage to put the truth about how great a man is, with just a bit of appreciation and understanding from a woman. Its all in one book, you do not need to look any further if you want to know what to do to have the loving attention and adoration of a man. DONT JUST READ IT, CHANGE YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE IT TRULY EVERYDAY, AND YOU WILL BE A HAPPY WOMAN NEXT TO A GREAT MAN! Sabrina and Eric, you guys are doing some amazing work here, and the world will become a better place due to this very insightful work you are doing through ANM, thank you for sharing your life experiences and for having the determination to work so diligently on this every day! YOU ARE THE BEST of ALL THE REST!
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful.
Capture this book!
By Jessica R
I first was turned onto “A New Mode” (the original website) when I found myself waist deep of what I now call “Silly Dating Books”. Books that distorted my perception. Books that gave me rules & not principles. My mindset went from being very optimistic and clear, to impulsively overthinking every male movement. I questioned myself, my personality, my looks, & listened to too many friends. I was confused as ever. (And I can only imagine how confused guys were).
In this empowering piece of literature, the author Sabrina Alexis (and co-author Eric Charles) lay down a beautiful foundation of how to be true to yourself while evoking what you want in a straightforward approach. There is a self improvement feel throughout the book that shows you how to transform & have a healthy mindset that we as women seem to lose while dating. It is a reference that helps you grasp the bigger picture. She is raw but refined, & writes with sincerity. You really feel she was in your stilettos in every occurrence.
Quite honestly, I was bummed at first when I saw there was no hard copy. (I’m a tangible person that likes to keep technology to a minimum). But, I quickly found out that having a hard copy couldn’t of had the magical links to previously published articles. It’s a lot of fun. (He’s Just Not That Into You; Just Turn Lesbian surely did not have that feature).
Just the texting section alone is gold. I cannot wait to recommend to my next girlfriend that asks me, “Jess, he just stopped texting. What do I do?!” (I give it 10 more minutes until this book has another sale ;)
Highly recommend!
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